WE GOT U:

Critiquing how women say things to avoid dealing with what is being said.

“Smile!”  Ugh. Need we say more?  Societal expectations that women should always appear pleasant, approachable, and agreeable, regardless of their emotions or the situation, are exhausting. ‘Smile’ is only a drop in the bucket of what is known as tone policing…. Women must be stern, not shrill; clever, not arrogant; funny, not flippant; and assertive, not bossy. Soooo many rules.  When women express themselves with passion, or sometimes when they express themselves in an everyday, usual way, their tone is criticized, dismissed, or penalized.

Consider this:

Women who speak up are labeled “too assertive,” leading to a 35% drop in perceived competence and a $15,000 hit to their value.

Practice using intentional body language to project confidence even if you feel rattled. Stand tall, make eye contact, and gesture with purpose.  Try greeting tone policing with silence or long pauses to let the room settle.