Gaslighting: “It’s not me, it’s you,” “I was just joking,” “Don’t be so sensitive,” and other ways doubt is weaponized

‍ “You’re overreacting.”“You’re too sensitive.” “Are you sure you’re remembering that correctly?” Or, our all-time favorite, the most epic and pervasive bait and switch, the motherload of gaslighting BS… “it was just a joke.”

Gaslighting is deployed as a gendered strategy to maintain control, particularly in hierarchies where women and marginalized voices are underrepresented. In other words, gaslighting thrives in power imbalances. Because men have historically held more authority across social, economic, and political systems, they are less likely to be targeted by gaslighting. Women, on the other hand…..

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We Got U:

Memorize a few simple, unshakable responses that communicate confidence without confrontation. If you have prepared phrases, you can confront gaslighting without having to originate responses in the moment.

“That’s not how I experienced it.”

“I’m not debating what was said. I’m naming how it was received.”

“I’m not suggesting that it wasn’t a joke to you; I am sharing why that joke was not funny to me.”